Transvestites and Cross Dressing
What is a Transvestite?
A Transvestite is a person who enjoys wearing the clothes of
the opposite sex. Some dictionaries add the words “for sexual pleasure”, but
this is not always true because many Cross Dressers just feel comfortable,
rather than sexually aroused, when they don the clothing of the other sex. Some Transvestites often feel the need, not just to dress, but to
act as a member of the opposite gender.
In more recent times (2000-2012), many of the people who enjoy
wearing the clothes of the opposite sex, have become somewhat unhappy with the
word “Transvestite”. They prefer to describe themselves as “Cross Dressers”. In
2012, people who attended a conference at which it was claimed that eight (8)
per cent of the population are into Cross Dressing. However, there is at
present really no way of establishing whether this figure bears any
relationship to the reality or truth.
So which gender is most likely to Cross Dress?
It is believed that some women dress up as men, but it is
overwhelmingly men who like to dress as women.
Are Transvestites considered gay?
According to recent research it has confirmed that most Transvestites
are not homosexual.
Do Transvestites want to be women?
The vast majority of male Transvestites still like and
prefer being men. They do not feel as they are women trapped in male bodies and
they have no desire to become female by taking hormones or having reassignment
surgery to remove their male genitals. In contrast, men who are uncomfortable about
being male, or who feel they are not male inside, are said to have gender
Dysphoria. Dysphoria means a chronic feeling of discontent. If this unhappiness
and discomfort at being male leads them to take steps to change gender, they
are then called “Transsexuals”. Some women also have gender Dysphoria and seek
to change sex, but they are a very small minority of transsexuals.
Why do men Cross Dress?
No one really knows why many men have this desire to Cross
Dress. Most men who Cross Dress describe it as an outlet for stress, and they
tend to want to dress up more during times of tension, at work or maybe at
home. Some men have stated that they get some relief from tension, simply by
wearing women's lingerie (often silk or satin), under their exterior male
clothing. These guys often go no further than that with their Cross Dressing. Most
Transvestites, however, want to appear as female as possible in their outer
garments and want to wear make-up. Most men, who do Cross Dress, are “NOT”
considered mentally ill. Indeed, psychologists in the USA have
decided that Cross Dressing comes within the normal range of male sexuality
unless it becomes a compulsive obsession. Not every Transvestite is a secret Transvestite.
The well-known medical journalist and writer Dr. Vernon Coleman has often
written about the enjoyment of wearing women's underwear. Some individuals make
their livings as Transvestite artists (Drag Queens) on stage and in clubs.
Other people, such as performers, Cross Dress because they seek to break down
gender barriers, such as the famous stand-up comedy artist Eddie Izzard.
Telling other people
Should a Transvestite reveal to his friends, family or even
his partner that he is a Cross Dresser?
This has to be done very carefully. Many Transvestites feel
frustrated that they have to keep this part of their personality a secret, and
sometimes their frustration erupts and leads to very sudden and unwise
confessions in the workplace. But many colleagues are simply not ready to hear
that Gerry becomes Geraldine at weekends. Telling your wife or partner is also
difficult in most instances. Our advice to anyone thinking of telling a
romantic partner, or indeed a colleague, sibling, friend or parent, is to first
seek advice from one of the excellent support groups that may be available in
your area. Many men do tell their partners, and some of these partners enter
into the spirit of the whole thing and actually help their men to dress as
women. These guys are very lucky as their partners frequently stop them from
making horrendous style mistakes! There have been some interviews on such
couple, on a television program called 'The Good Sex Guide Late”. This husband
and wife in their 30’s used to go out clubbing together as “sisters”, heavily
made-up and dressed in party clothes. The wife really liked her husband's alter
ego and said that his female side was so sensitive and loving that sharing it
had enriched their marriage. But on the other hand, few women are as happy with
their man's Transvestite behavior as she was.
Sex and Cross Dressing
A number of male Transvestites want to go a bit further than
dressing up and going out, they want to make love to women when they are “acting
as a female”. In our experience, the majority of wives and girlfriends are
definitely not happy with this scenario. Some women do find that having sex
with a man who is made-up and dressed as a woman can feel quite a turn on. Far
more females find the whole idea quite alarming and off-putting, and no man
should attempt to force his partner into sex if she falls into this category.
Again, this is something to take advice about from people who have experience
in this matter.
Dealing with guilt
Transvestites can be very calm and happy about their Cross Dressing,
especially if they belong to a good support group, have an interesting social
life as their female persona, and have friends or family who accept their need
to Cross Dress. The vast majority of guys like this never even think about
having therapy, because they find their lives fine as they are. However, men
who feel overloaded with guilt should always seek counseling. They will
invariably feel much better for talking over the situation with someone who is
non-judgmental.
How to Cross Dress
If you want to Cross Dress in public you should be
convincing. Many people cannot, or will not, understand why a man should want
to dress as a woman, so it is important that men who do this make as good a job
of it as possible. Unfortunately, many guys who Cross Dress fail to look very
like a real woman. As a result, people snigger when they see them and sometimes
act in a very hostile way. Sadly, Cross Dressing can provoke violence from
stupid and aggressive males.
Learning the art of dressing as a woman can make life much
easier for a Transvestite. Support groups can provide advice on choosing the
right clothes and make-up, but start by keeping things simple. Avoid high
heels, especially with sling-backs, until you have mastered walking in women's
footwear. And avoid glittery cocktail dresses until you have practiced moving,
standing and sitting as a woman. Some shops specialize in supplying women's
clothing and shoes in men's sizes and in helping men to perfect their female
look. Many sell a good range of wigs. As a general rule, shop in a place that
is liberal and accepting of different lifestyles. Clearly, if you live in a
small town, you will excite comment if you shop for yourself in the local
women's shoe or dress shop.
The law
Cross Dressing is not an offence, nor is it illegal in most
western countries though you could run into serious problems in many developing
nations. As an example thirty years ago it was quite common for the British
police to arrest a man who dared to go out in a dress. It is now generally
accepted that if a man encounters the police while dressed as a woman, he is as
entitled as any other law-abiding citizen to courtesy and consideration.
